American Parent

Categories Parenting & Families ,

As a new parent, I find myself in situations so foreign I might as well be the first human on Mars. The sheer volume of things we must do (baby swim class?) and not do (don't even get me started here...) is nearly incomprehensible.

In American Parent: My Strange and Surprising Adventures in Modern Babyland, author Sam Apple documents his own journey into parenthood.

Apple is full of questions, and no theory is left unexplored: Is the Lamaze Method a Stalinist Plot? (Yes). Are newborns really fetuses that are born too soon (Sort of.) Is there a universal theory that can explain the origins of circumcision in geographically diverse cultures? (Maybe.) Does it sting when you pour baby shampoo into your own eyes? (Big time!)

Whining, Crying, and Temper Tantrums, Oh My!

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Saturday, 7:00 am:  My daughter bonks her head on her bedroom wall while getting out of bed.  This causes a 10-minute crying fit.  Saturday, 7:15 am:  She pokes herself in the eye.  Another crying fit.  Saturday, 7:30 a.m.:  She drops her English muffin, butter side down, on her favorite Disney Princess nightgown.  Major crying fit.

You can see where I'm going with this.  The day didn't get any better.  In my infinite wisdom, I decide to take everyone to the mall for lunch.  My husband supposedly put the double stroller in the car, but when we got there, guess what?  No stroller.  Not keen on carrying/dragging three small children through the mall, we head back home.  This brings on more whining.  A short sample:  "I'm hungry.  I wanted to see the Easter Bunny.  Can I wear my Cinderella dress when we get home?  I'm hungry.  Why can't we just leave the boys at home?  Why do they always have to come with us?  I'm hungry.  Can I have some Chicken McNuggets?"

The terrible two's get all the press, but let me tell you:  we've had less than a month of the terrible four's in our house and I'm already not liking them so much.  Luckily, the library has quite a few books on dealing with my daughter's whining, crying and temper tantrums.  Check out:

• Have a New Kid by Friday--Kevin Leman
• How to Raise Kids You Want to Keep--Jerry R. Day
• The No-Cry Discipline Solution--Elizabeth Pantley
• Screamfree Parenting--Hal Edward Runkel
• Taming the Spirited Child--Michael Popkin
• 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child--Jeffrey Bernstein

Transitioning to Solids

Categories Parenting & Families

If you’ve ever found yourself in the grocery store staring vacantly at the rows of baby foods, confused, mumbling words like "strained" and "pureed," then you've probably seen me there too, doing the exact same thing.

I had mastered diapers, bedtime and bottles; I thought my baby abilities were- well both fabulous and complete. Then the pediatrician told me I could start the twins on solid foods.

Solid foods? Oh my…

If you read my recent post on raising a green baby, you might have an idea where this is headed. My lovely, wonderful husband most definitely did- as soon as we were all safely strapped into the car he turned to me and said, “Promise me you won’t go crazy with this.”

Um, ok…

Eagerly, I reserved every book the library owns of feeding babies and making baby food. I used our wonderful databases to read articles on organic, processed and homemade baby food. I learned about preservatives, CSA’s, nitrates, and baby food mills.

I’ve listed my favorite resources below. And for those of you who are real gluttons for punishment- check out the photos of my first adventure in baby food preparation on the library’s facebook page!

Blender Baby Food by Nicole Young
Cooking for Baby by Lisa Barnes
Homemade Baby Food Pure & Simple by Constantina Linardakis
Top 100 baby purées by Annabel Karmel
Feeding Baby by Annabel Karmel

Bath Time

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"My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad train pajamas.  I hate my railroad train pajamas."--Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

Poor Alexander.  This sounds exactly like bath night at our house: always some sort of calamity.  Just getting everyone upstairs is a struggle.  Usually it goes something like this:  my daughter races upstairs, takes off all her clothes and runs around the house, naked and screaming.  The boys crawl up the stairs, one veers left into our bedroom (to torture the poor dog), the other veers right into his sister's bedroom (to play with the electrical outlets that he has learned to take the child safety devices out of).

Once everyone is in the tub, we commence washing.  Or, I should say, soaking the room with as much water as possible.  I'm not sure how much actual washing is done.  Soon the calamities start:  the bath is too hot.  Someone gets soap in their eyes.  Someone else falls out of the tub.   Then, there's the inevitable questions about "private parts".   My daughter:  "mommy, why do boys have peanuts?" (her term for a certain part of the male anatomy).  Quickly followed by:  "mommy, why are the boys always messing with their peanuts?"  Ack!

Welcome to the Toddler Years

Categories Parenting & Families ,

My 12-month-old daughter hasn’t learned to walk yet, but it appears we’ve entered the toddler years.  Yesterday I was talking to her and she put her hands over my mouth, followed by an impish smile.  This morning after I gave her a Cheerio, she offered it to me and then teasingly pulled it away. 

I’ve found a great children’s picture book author for toddlers (and their parents) confronting all the issues that arise during this amazing yet challenging time.  Looking at just some of the colorfully illustrated titles by Elizabeth Verdick, I realize just what I’m in for…

• Bye-Bye Time (Separation Anxiety)
• Clean-up Time (Messy rooms)
• Diapers Are Not Forever (Toilet training)
• Feet Are Not for Kicking (Temper tantrums)
• Pacifiers Are Not Forever (Giving up the binky)
• Tails Are Not for Pulling (Getting along with the family pet)
• Teeth Are Not for Biting (Great!)

Raising Boys

Categories Parenting & Families ,

It was a difficult transition for me, going from one girl to one girl and two boys.  Hard enough having twins to begin with, but two boys?  What did I know about raising boys?  This is what I have learned so far:  boys are messy.  Food is not for eating but throwing on the floor, and sippy cups are used as weapons of mass destruction.   

They also like to roughhouse.  We have one of those play kitchens that comes equipped with various items of plastic food and kitchenware.  The other day I caught one of my boys whacking his brother over the head with the frying pan.  His brother usually retaliates by knocking him over deliberately when he's standing or walking (the younger one can't walk yet). 

My boys also do not like to be changed--I'm talking clothes and diapers here.   Whenever I put them on the changing table I have to prepare myself for a wrestling match.  To make matters worse, one of them has recently decided that he likes taking his pants off.  As in, I go to get him up from his nap and he's standing in his crib without any pants on.  This is the same one who likes to take his diaper off (I am not sure what this means about his future career choices, but it can't be good).

What else have I learned?   Boys are sweet:  they like to give kisses and be held.  And they really, really love their mommies.

Want some professional advice on raising boys?  Then check out some of the following books.

Emerging readers

Categories Parenting & Families ,

One of my earliest memories is of an alphabet train poster that spanned two walls of the bedroom I shared with my little brother. My mom or dad would name a letter, and I would point to it. Or they would point to a letter, and I would name it or give its sound.  I don't remember the moment I learned to read -- most don't, I suspect. But being read to each night and, yes, pointing to those letters on my bedroom wall certainly sped up that process. 

Children today have endless opportunities to engage in literacy activities. Besides stimulation from the home environment, like the kinds my parents provided, everything from television shows, such as Reading Rainbow, to computer software programs, such as Reader Rabbit, can support children's emergent reading skills. Here are some of my favorite books to read with young, emerging readers:

• "The Z was Zapped," by Chris Van Allsburg
• "The Gingerbread Baby" and "The Mitten," by Jan Brett
• "The Very Hungry Caterpillar," by Eric Carle
• "No David" and "Alice the Fairy," by David Shannon
• "A Beasty Story," by Bill Martin and Stephen Kellogg

The Internet gives us even more ways for children to have fun with words and stories. The Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County has updated its Kidspace, a site complete with homework help, reading recommendations, games, and even a place for children to write book reviews. The site should be attractive to children, parents, and teachers alike.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Christmas is just around the corner! The bad news is you have less than three weeks to wrap up your shopping. The good news is the library has added some fabulous Christmas titles to our children’s collection- and checking them out is free!

Eco Babies Wear Green*

Categories Parenting & Families

People often say when a baby enters your life it creates an enormous number of unexpected changes. What they don’t mention is that along with the little one (or little ones in my case) comes a whole new category of stuff to fill every corner, closet, and available floor space in your home-- not only the obvious large items like furniture and diapers, but also a slew of items you never heard of before that are soon to be essential to daily life. Who knew my first floor could pass itself off as a Babies R' Us annex??

Add to it our attempt to green our lives and suddenly my husband and I were overwhelmed with articles on everything from cloth diapers to organic baby food and fair-trade clothing… Luckily I also stumbled onto a few great books with easy and economical things you can do to raise a green family

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination

Categories Parenting & Families ,

"I'm not ready for my first child to fade into history," writes National Book Award finalist (for The Giant's House) McCracken in this searing account of the loss of her firstborn child.  She "wants people to know" that she gave birth to a stillborn son, but "doesn't want to say it aloud."  

The author and her husband were living in rural France at the time of their son's (playfully nicknamed "Pudding" by his parents) death.  Past due, McCracken noticed that "Pudding" was moving less than usual.  Her midwife reassured her that the baby was fine.  Hours later, it was too late, and McCracken gave birth to her son an agonizing two days after his death.

An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination is both beautiful and wrenching, both unbearably sad and surprisingly uplifting.  McCracken calls her memoir "the happiest story in the world with the saddest ending".  After reading it, you'll know why.

For other books dealing with the loss of a child, check out Ann Hood's Comfort and Darci Klein's To Full Term.

The Film Club

Categories Parenting & Families ,

'Homeschooling' takes on a whole new perspective.  Canadian novelist and film critic David Gilmour recently published a book about his son's high school years and the creative way in which they dealt with the issues at hand.  Gilmour's book, The Film Club, has received a good amount of press, and rightly so.  Gilmour's son Jesse hated high school and his grades were heading for an all-time low.  After much deliberation he and his father made a deal: Jesse could quit school as long as he agreed to watch three movies a week and discuss them with his Dad.   Good idea/bad idea?  A courageous idea, without a doubt.

Naptime Is the New Happy Hour

Categories Parenting & Families ,

I got a nap yesterday.  This might not sound like a big deal to most of you, but for me it was a momentous occasion.  I don't get much sleep these days.  My three-year-old daughter and six-month-old twin boys don't think it's a good idea, apparently.  So when I managed to get all three of them down at the same time I ran to my bedroom and burrowed under the covers. 

Of course, I was "rewarded" an hour and a half later when I went to get the boys out of their cribs and discovered that one of them had spit up and, well, let's just say had a "diaper leakage" problem all over his sheets.  My daughter came in, took one look at her brother, and pronounced that he smelled disgusting and "needed to start going in the potty" like she does.  Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Apparently, unlike yours truly, author Stefanie Wilder-Taylor uses her daughter's naptimes for more adult pursuits.  In Naptime Is the New Happy Hour:  And Other Ways Toddlers Turn Your Life Upside Down, Wilder-Taylor discusses not only imbibing alcohol while your child(-ren) are sleeping, but also how to survive playdates, temper tantrums, and moms who swear their children never watch tv. 

Momnesia

Categories Parenting & Families ,

I'm pretty sure I have "momnesia".  Example one:  I put our dog (a notorious fence jumper) outside, meaning to watch over him to make sure he didn't escape.  I then went back inside and forgot to go back out again.  Hours later my neighbor showed up at the door with the dog, who, of course, had jumped the fence and was roaming happily throughout our neighborhood.  Example two:  Not long after my twins were born, I went to vacuum our carpet only to discover that the vacuum cleaner wouldn't work.  When my husband came home from work, the vacuum cleaner worked fine for him.  It was only then that I realized--I had turned the vacuum cleaner on, but had completely forgotten to plug it in.  Example three:  well, you get the picture.

According to Dr. Louann Brizendine, my "condition" has a name--"momnesia".  Brizendine, author of the book The Female Brain,  says that "momnesia" is "a state of the female brain that is a bit forgetful after a woman has had a baby".  It's influenced by "the wildly fluctuating flood of hormones that accompanies pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding".

When in Doubt, Choose Simplicity

Categories Parenting & Families

During the holiday season when everything around us screams out, "more, more, more!", it is especially helpful to seek out those still, small voices that say, "simple is best".  Yes, those voices do exist, as I was reminded when I heard a favorite tune on WNKU radio today. "Too Much Stuff" by Delbert McClinton can be found on his CD titled One of the Fortunate Few, and if you listen closely you will discover John Prine and Lyle Lovett on backup vocals.  Anyway, "Too Much Stuff" sums up my sentiments, exactly.

No More Polar Express! And don't even mention The Night Before Christmas!

Categories Parenting & Families ,

With Christmas right around the corner, you may be getting a bit tired of reading The Polar Express and The Night Before Christmas for the 1,637,461st time. Fear not! There are tons of great Christmas titles out there (new and old!) to share with the young person in your life. Today, we’ll focus on new 2007 titles and next week we’ll revisit some golden oldies.

Train Wreck of a Marriage

Categories Parenting & Families ,

New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey surprised many, including his wife, by his 2004 announcement  that he was a "gay American."  He left office three months later.  It wasn't just that he'd had an affair with Golan Cipel, but that he had hired him to be New Jersey's homeland security advisor--not a tiny job in 2002--although Cipel had no particular credentials.  After outcry forced McGreevey to fire Cipel, the governor found him four other jobs, which he didn't keep for long. 

Eventually Cipel threatened to sue McGreevey for $50 million on sexual-harassment charges.  Dina Matos McGreevey published her memoir of the experience, Silent Partner, a few months after Jim McGreevey published his, The Confession.

Great Books for the First Day of School, Part II

Categories Parenting & Families ,

You’ve hit all the local office supply chains, big box stores, and the mall. You have pencils and backpacks, new shoes and maybe even a new haircut. Still not feeling ready to face the first day of school?

In a previous post, I discussed great books for kids (or parents) who are a bit nervous about the first day of school. But, there were too many great books to fit in just one post. Below are Great Books for the First Day of School, Part II.

The First Day of School

Categories Parenting & Families ,

As summer begins to wind down, it’s nearly here, the event parents eagerly await and children dread: THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! Anticipation abounds as children and parents alike are greeted with mounds of immaculate school supplies, teachers to meet, and a host of new routines to master. Inevitably, all that change brings a flutter of nervousness to even the most brave-hearted students. A warm lap and a good book can do wonders to ease the worried mind.

Here to help is the first of two posts filled with great books to ease those first day jitters.

Why I'm Like This: True Stories

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Cynthia Kaplan went to summer camp and school dances, had a crush on Jamie Karlan, got dumped by boyfriends, struggled with her career, sought the approval of her parents, cared for her ill grandmother, got married, became a mother, and tried to live her life the best she knew how. 

If you see yourself in any of these scenarios, then you understand the happiness and heartache of being a woman. 

But if you think Why I'm Like This: True Stories is going to be an overly sentimental book, think again. Often compared to David Sedaris, Kaplan's personal essays are funny and sad yet refreshingly frank, as if she is examining her life under a microscope.

Great Picture Books to Celebrate Father's Day, Part II!

Categories Parenting & Families ,

In a previous post, I discussed great picture books for Father’s Day. The bad news is there were so many fabulous picture books about dads of all kinds- they just couldn’t fit in one post. The good news is the overflow was perfect for Great Picture Books to Celebrate Father’s Day, Part II!

In The Best Father’s Day Present Ever, by Christine Loomis Langley Snail is worried about Father's Day. Besides, his friends have already snapped up the neat gifts, like the "Super-Duper-Golf-O-Matic-Home-Ball-Washer." Will Langley be able to find the perfect gift in time? This one has a great message that the best gifts are those from the heart.

Celebrate Father's Day with Picture Books!

Categories Parenting & Families ,

With Father’s Day just around the corner, we are awash in fabulous books celebrating tall dads, bald dads, loud dads, quiet dads, stay at home dads, suit and tie dads, and all dads in between! What better way for the entire family to celebrate than with a big pile of picture books?

Newbery Medalist Jerry Spinelli's first picture book, My Daddy and Me stars a flop-eared young pup who loves to spend time with dad. The two wrestle on the living room floor, make cookies, plant tomatoes, and work around the house. Plus, he’s never too tired to sing a lullaby at the end of a long, fun day.

An endearing read aloud. Building with Dad by Carol Nevius is summed up with this easy equation: Dads + Construction equipment = Fun!

Belly Laughs

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Good things about being pregnant:  Cute clothes (for you and the baby).  Ultrasound pictures.  Feeling the baby kick.  People letting you go first in the bathroom line because they're afraid you might go into labor.  Bad things about being pregnant:  Nausea.  Exhaustion.  People who insist you're having twins because "nobody could be that big and not be having twins" (thanks, that makes me feel tons better).  Not being able to shave your legs because you lost sight of them months ago.  Complete strangers asking if they can rub your belly for good luck (answer:  what do I look like, an oversized rabbit's foot?).

If all this sounds familiar to you (or you're just dying to know how you, too, can skip to the front of the restroom line), then read Jenny McCarthy's very funny and very frank Belly Laughs:  The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth.  It's an informative and often sidesplitting look at the wacky, weird, wonderful world of pregnancy.

Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay

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The dreaded first year of parenthood.  Your parents, friends, co-workers and people on the street have probably all warned you about it.  Sleepless nights.  Hours-long crying episodes.  Diaper explosions.  Colic.  And on and on and on.  Now that I've scared off everyone in the "planning for a baby" stage, erase those images from your mind and picture...The first time your baby smiles at you.  The first time they fall asleep on your chest.  The first time they grab your hand or pat your cheek.

If you need more convincing (and could use a good laugh), then read Stefanie Wilder-Taylor's Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, and Other Things I Had to Learn as a New Mom, in which the L.A.-based comedienne discusses sharing parenting duties, the trials and tribulations of breastfeeding, and bonding (or not) with other new moms.

I Don't Know How She Does It

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Right now my toddler has a cold and is pretty miserable.  Which means I'm pretty miserable.  She doesn't care to blow her nose, instead preferring her sleeve.  She also doesn't care to take her medicine, instead preferring to spit it back out (usually on me).  Getting a two-year-old out of the house on a good day takes forever.  When she doesn't feel well, and insists on carting her teddy, two blankets, Elmo, Tigger, and several dolls into the car with her---well, you might as well give it up.

It's on days like this that I'm reminded of Kate Reddy, heroine of Allison Pearson's ode to working moms, I Don't  Know How She Does It:  The Life of Kate Reddy, Working Mother.

Mothers and Daughters

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Today, I’m kicking off my monthlong tribute to mothers by looking at the often tempestuous, never boring mother-daughter relationship.  One of my favorite novels about this subject is Wendy French’s sMothering (check out the great cover!)  In it, 23-year-old Claire McLeod, who lives in Portland, Oregon, is astonished (and frightened) when her domineering mother arrives on her doorstep.  Refusing to say why she’s left Claire’s dad, her mother immediately sets about reorganizing her apartment, interfering in her love life, and generally making Claire’s life a living hell.  It’s a hilarious and often poignant send-up of the complicated love that exists between mother and daughter.

Looking for other great reads?  Then check out Kris Radish’s The Sunday List of Dreams, Dani Shapiro’s Black & White, Jo-Ann Mapson’s The Owl & Moon Café, and Kelly Braffet’s Last Seen Leaving.

Goodnight Moon, or Not...

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Have you read Goodnight Moon to your child more times than you can count? In addition to the traditional hardback, the library offers audio, dvd, boardbook, and even braille editions. Ever feel like hiding your copy just to get a night off? Written by Margaret Wise Brown (1910-1952) in 1947, Goodnight Moon is a classic, a perennial favorite-- but that doesn't mean it can't get old. Why not give one of these bedtime alternatives a try?

• Goodnight Train (2006) Falling asleep is like taking a magical train ride.
• How Many Kisses Do You Want Tonight? (2004) Bears, ducks, bunnies, and even a snake request goodnight kisses as they are tucked into bed.
• Goodnight, Goodnight Sleepyhead (2004) Before heading off to sleep, a child says goodnight to her surroundings- from her bear's nose to dinosaur toes.
• The Noisy Way to Bed (2004) A small boy on this way to bed encounters sleepy animals that all have something to say.
• When Mama Comes Home Tonight (1998) Spinelli celebrates the nighttime rituals between a mother and child in gently rhyming text.

Poetry in Motion: Part Two

Categories Parenting & Families ,

In a recent post, I wrote about ways in which people can actively partcipate in poetry, reading and reciting with friends and family.  Now, take that idea to another level: Chicago, 1987, a place called the Green Mill Tavern. Marc Kelly Smith starts a small revolution which becomes known as the Poetry Slam.  It differs from a 'poetry reading' event because it is competitive and the audience plays an active role.  Slams are held virtually everywhere, and there is even a national championship that will be held this summer in Austin, Texas.

Poetry in Motion: Part One

Categories Parenting & Families ,

National Poetry Month is a celebration which has caught on in schools, coffee houses, and public spaces everywhere.  The Main Library will be hosting poetry readings featuring local poets each Wednesday night during April at 7:00 p.m.

For many people, poetry may seem to be an introspective and solitary event - it's not necessarily so!  You too can host a poetry night with friends and family of all ages.  Break out the camcorder and have some fun - here are some sources of inspiration:

Children and Grief

Categories Parenting & Families

It’s never easy to deal with death.  Even as adults we have a hard time reconciling ourselves to it.  Things become twice as hard when you have to discuss death with a child.  Whether it’s losing a beloved pet or the loss of a close family member, no one wants to mar the innocence of childhood with the ugliness of life.

But for the last few years it has been all around us.  September 11, the tsunami that hit Asia and Africa, the Hurricane Katrina and the wars have been a large part of the national conversation for a few years now.  Children need to feel safe and learn how to cope with all they are feeling.

H. Norman Wright’s book, "It's Okay to Cry" gives parents sound advice with how to assist children with their loss.  Wright helps you to see the event through the child’s eyes and offers different prompts and activities to get the child to open up.

It's Potty Time!

Categories Parenting & Families ,

Several of my friends currently find themselves “in the trenches” of potty training. It’s been interesting (and at times entertaining!) to see them try everything from potty bootcamp to bribery to positive reinforcement.

Potty training is a huge milestone for children and a topic of debate and uncertainty among parents. Luckily, the library has a wide range of materials to meet the needs of parents and children on the cusp of this developmental milestone.

Some People Just Shouldn't Be Around Children

Categories Parenting & Families ,

I'm trying to find a connection between two books I've read lately, Running Away With Frannie, by Renée Manfredi, and Un seul crime, l'amour, by Mary Fualaau (formerly Mary Kay LeTourneau) and Vili Fualaau, with a couple guest chapters by Vili's mother, Soona Fualaau.

I can't talk too much about Manfredi's strange and memorable novel without giving away the plot, which takes an unexpected turn about halfway through, and then another one at the end.  The protagonist is Sam, a 25 year old from a household without a lot of money, one of ten siblings with an alcoholic father and a mother who works in an Elvis-Presley commemorative-plate-making factory.  The mother expresses her opinion of dinner guests through her table settings.  If the visitor gets a young-and-healthy Elvis plate, the mother likes the guest.  Old washed-up Elvis means Sam's mother is not amused.

April is National Gardening Month

Categories Parenting & Families ,

April is National Gardening Month- the perfect time to plan and dream and let your inner gardener run wild.

This year’s theme is GROW: When you Garden, You Grow. And, the campaign has great resources for kids. Studies show the impact of gardening on children’s health and well-being, their attitudes towards learning and the environment, and their connections to community. Plus, it’s a great activity for the whole family.